Health and safety humour

The two steps

It has been reported that a retired sales worker has had to pay a private firm £250 a time to transport his frail 95 year old aunt to hospital. It has been reported that the NHS has refused to transport her. Reason being is that her transportation is posing a health and safety hazard. The hazard is a couple of small steps at the end of the garden path to her house, whereby they would have to transfer her over them. She needs to be stretchered or carried in a chair in and out of her house for her regular trips to her local psycho-geriatric hospital in the Wales area. She weighs 6st 9lb. For the first year and a half of the transportation everything worked ok and she was being transferred over the two steps without problems. However, earlier this year things changed when an ambulance man refused to take her. The reason being was that there were three steps leading to the house and it couldn’t be managed with a wheelchair. He said it would require three men and a stretcher. What had happened was that a senior ambulance man had arrived with a camera and a tape measure to measure the steps. So the elderly lady could now not be transferred to her respite care. So, the nephew, who cared for his aunt, was in no doubt that he would have to seek alternative methods of transportation for his aunt. But some confusion has been reported, apparently the NHS ambulance did a “dry run” and successfully transported the elderly lady to her home and they said then that subsequent scheduled transportations were cancelled, where, no doubt, the services of a private ambulance firm were brought in. All a bit strange…

The Lollipop man

A lollipop man has been told by his local council to stop high-fiving pupils due to health and safety fears. The 64 year old who works at a primary school in Berkshire has been warned that this friendly hand slap is ‘dangerous’. The parents are on the lollipops’ man’s side saying the council’s view is crazy. Bracknell Council has reported that kids that stop to high-five with the lollipop man as they cross the road could put their lives in danger. They could have a point…

The Grass

It has been reported that a head teacher cancelled a sports day primary school event due to due on the grass (pardon the pun!). She texted the parents to tell them that the grass was wet and that the event needed to be rescheduled. However, a spokesman for the Health and Safety Executive has said there is no legislation to stop kids playing around on damp grass. They continued to say that the school should give the real reason as to why the event has been cancelled without using the tired old excuse of blaming it on ‘health and safety’. It has been reported that the sports day event for the 3 and 5 year olds did go ahead but the one for the early years didn’t. The head teacher said the grass was very wet and dangerous for the very young ones and that was why it was being rescheduled. The head teacher may have been right…

The Doormat

Tenants have been asked to remove their doomats because they are pose a health and safety risk. Tenants in the Yorkshire flat said the decision by the council was ‘ridiculous’. It has been claimed that residents that do not remove their doormats will be issued a legal letter from the Council. As a result of a fire safety assessment, the doormats are a potential obstruction in case of an emergency. The case is ongoing…

The Beach

According to a parent in Swanzea, children were not allowed to paddle in the sea, despite the fact that we are experiencing a heat wave. Children arrived at the beach on a school trip and were told by their teachers that the sea was out of bounds due to ‘health and safety’. The kids were very disappointed. One parent went on to say that the kids could have been supervised for a paddle in small groups: it was a boiling hot day and the kids had no way of cooling off. However, there has been a dispute over these claims, including some parent and teachers arguing that a swim had never been part of the trip, the school trip was all about exploring the wildlife on the beach. Somebody obviously felt the need to complain…


It has been reported that even the Health and Safety Executive’s £57million HQ in Bootle, Liverpool has sustained its fair share of  ‘accidents’. One worker was bruised by a falling toilet roll holder. Another suffered an electric shock unplugging a vacuum cleaner. Another sustained a back injury from lifting files of evidence. The list goes on…

Hanging Baskets

Health and Safety zealots have removed the hanging baskets from a picturesque bridge in Shropshire. They said that these floral displays posed a health and safety risk. Structural engineers recommended the flowers were removed because they could fall on the canoeists paddling underneath the bridge. But residents have complained. It has also been reported that there is a fault in the railing and the baskets could drop. In high winds the baskets were seen to be swinging to and fro. But local residents and canoeists are saying that this is overkill and that the chances of being hit by some kid throwing a stone on the bridge was higher than a basket falling down. A resident has said it is a real shame because the flowers look amazing when they are in full bloom.

The Florist

A florist has been asked by her local council to remove her plant pots outside her shop as they posed a health and safety risk. Her shop is in a quiet side street. She was told the pavement outside her shop in Shropshire needs to be clear so that pedestrians could pass. But she argued that hardly no traffic comes down the street anyway and that most people walk on the road as it is so narrow. The footpath is too narrow and isn’t even big enough for a wheel chair. Its a market town and this florist thrives on being able to showcase here plants and flowers.


Sources    wales on line    parent dish    this is south wales   the telegraph    the sun    SWNS   uk news



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