Case 1 The Innocent Daffodil dancing no more
In Pevensey Green, the flower beds are under scrutiny. There is a bed of daffodils where their bulbs are being protected by tiny sticks in the ground, this is usual for new baby flowers. Health and Safety officials have ordered that these little wooden sticks be removed because they might endanger lives. But the locals are not happy because they had spend many years cultivating the daffodil flower bed. No longer can one “wander lowly as a cloud…”
Case 2 Black Beauty runs away
It is been reported that there are some ridiculous suggestions in the pipeline for working underneath horses. One such suggestion is the wearing of gloves and safety glasses when taking shoes off horses. Also, it is reported that, one should rope a cordon around the working area when showing a horse, and put up a sign “Danger, horses being shod”. This advise was given to a class of students from a health and safety advisor from Germany. Not sure what the UK take is on this one. One apprentice farrier had replied to these ridiculous requests by saying that”…one thing that did occur to him is how the glasses and gloves would help him when a small gust of wind blow the “danger” sign over, spooked the horse, which then trampled him on its way to getting caught up in the cordon!”
Case 3 The BBC does a risk assessment on East Enders
The actors on the East Enders set were given a nine page report outlining the health and safety risks of working with sheep and a dog that was hired for a scene. These animals were to be part of a storyline shot in Cassiobury Park, Watford. The cast were warned how to handle “Duffie” the dog who starred in the scene, however, the risk assessment went way beyond that of the dog. Quotes from the report include “‘Animals can cause injury, by bites, scratches, stings, kicking or crushing; infection or infestation from micro-organisms or parasites…’ and there was a risk of miscarriage in pregnant workers because of harmful organisms on animals, ‘especially sheep’. Maybe they have a point.
Case 4 Herbie wouldn’t like this
It has been reported that the staff at a firm Alderley, near Yate, all received an email telling them that, from now on, they will have to reverse their cars into their parking spaces. Staff must now park their cars facing the same direction ie reverse park. This rule resulted in amusement and anger by some of the staff. But, management has argued that this system will improve pedestrian safety. The company denied a claim made online that the directive was issued to “make the car park look as neat as possible”, instead saying it is for health and safety reasons to reverse park. The HSE has said this is “ridiculous”. Maybe they wanted to “make the car park look as neat as possible”?
Case 5 The Rock band quenches their fire
The rock band, Muse, were furious after been told to scale down their act at the 02 Arena, due to health and safety reasons. They originally planned for around 50 fireworks to be shot out in the direction of the audience – until the spoilsports, ie the local council bosses, told them they couldn’t do this. Now, they are only allowed to fire out one fifth of the multi-colored rockets. Other entertainments at the 02 include the band, One Direction, because of them, an extra 20 security personnel had to be hired to guard the red carpet celebs because there might be a “frantic stage stampede by hordes of screaming girls.” Things could get out of hand.
Case 6 Baby Jude cannot have warm milk
Staff at a baby weighing clinic at Thamesmead barred a new mum from heating up her baby son’s bottle. This was due to health and safety fears, reported the staff there. As there was a queue in the baby weighing clinic when she arrived, Mum had to wait at least half hour, and, of course baby’s bottle would have been cold by then. After been refused to be allowed to warm little Judes milk he started to scream the place down. She was forced to take the baby home and come back later. He didn’t like cold milk. As it is a BABY weighing clinic you would think they would have some facilities for warming bottles as there are mostly babies there!